Sweater
DON’T YOU DARE CALL IT AN UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATER
You can call it a sweatshirt. You can call it a pullover. Hell, you can even call it a jumper if you’re British. But don’t you dare call this beautifully knitted body koozie an Ugly Christmas Sweater. Designed with the handsomest beer mascot in the game’s mug front and center, this here is a certifiably Handsome Holiday Sweater and should be only addressed as such. Made from 85% super soft acrylic and 15% wool, it’s the perfect garment to wear as you pour IPA after IPA down your chimney this holiday season. At least if you wanna look good doin’ it. Get it while it’s cold.
Calendar
Stay Rangerous All Year Round
Warning: what you are about to see cannot be unseen. The 2022 Voodoo Ranger Calendar is here, and it makes Playboy Bunnies and shirtless firemen look prude in comparison. Lose yourself in your wildest IPA fantasies with 13 of your favorite tantalizing dead guys putting their Rangerousness on full display. Then treat your eyeballs to an exclusive, full sized, fold-out poster that leaves nothing to the imagination. Careful now, it’s about to get steamy.
Ranguar Tee
HALF BEAST OR ALL G.O.A.T.?
Meet Rangaur, a Voodoo born to the King of Imperial. Legend has it, the 9-Percentaur lurks in the shadows, waiting to sneak up on you with its half smooth and half bitter essence. Spun from the finest fabrics on Earth, this 100% cotton t-shirt features original artwork of this glorious beast in his natural habitat. Gods and heroes alike need this limited-edition t-shirt. Purchase in great haste, quantities are limited.
Drink Markers
Never Drink Alone Again
Cry over your ex with Imperial by your side. He’s here to listen. Confide in Juicy Haze with your
deepest secrets. He won’t tell a soul about the real reason you’re banned from water parks. Tell Voodoo Ranger IPA how much you love him. He won’t ask you to stop because it’s getting weird. You always have a friend with Voodoo Ranger Drinking Buddies.
Voodoo Ranger Neon
A SIGN THAT YOU NEED A BEER
This isn’t a mere beer sign. This is an Official Voodoo Ranger Neon Sign. A bright, glowing beacon of hope that tells your friends, “Relax, you’re not about to be handed a seltzer, sour beer, or barrel-aged stout.” Whether it’s going up in your man cave, your she shack, or above the lava lamp in your parent’s basement, this is an essential home furnishing for any Voodood or Voodoodette’s beer drinking spot.
Flag
It's time for the two lip salute
Raise this puppy to full staff, it’s time for an ice-cold Voodoo Ranger. Whether it’s at 5pm, midnight or the stroke of high noon, now your neighborhood association knows they live next to a legend. This one-of-a-kind flag displays your beer hero in full glory, measuring 35 x 60 inches and made of the purest polyester. So, let that Rangerousness flap in the breeze and raise up a cold IPA to the GOAT, it’s officially Voodoo Ranger time. Salute.
Action Figure
the official voodoo ranger action figure
It’s not a doll! This Voodoo Ranger action figure gives you permission to Live Rangerously wherever you go. This fully poseable figure has moving joints and a bendable waist so he can sit next to you at the bar, the car, or on your nightstand. Plus, just detach the Voodoo Ranger IPA six pack and cheers him with a beer of your own. It’s absolutely nothing like a tea party!
Playing Cards
Know when to hold'em and know when to fold'em
Take your friend's money. Take the shirt off their back. Take their 401K. Take their house. Take their car. Take their parents’ respect. Take everything in their fridge. With this deck in your hand, your friends will be too distracted by the handsome Voodoo Ranger face cards to even notice that they just lost to a pair of twos. Leaving you open to take what’s yours…which is what’s theirs.
Bobble Head
Future FAMILY HEIRLOOM
The year is 3055. On the dashboard of your great-great grandson’s flying sports car sits his most prized possession: an original Voodoo Ranger bobble head. The space turbulence causes the oversized skull to gently bounce up and down. “Wow, they sure don’t make things like they used to…this thing is really high quality!” your distant grandson thinks to himself. He smiles at the bobble head fondly as he directs his autopilot for Omar Sepion 8. Onward.
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